Not to toot my own horn, but I was a decent trumpet player in high school. I did Marching Band and loved it! Of course, since high school, all those many years ago, I no longer play. It’s weird, though, because I still have a recurring dream that I find a trumpet lying around and go to play it, but it is missing the mouthpiece. Have fun interpreting that!
Anyway, over the past decades, I have taken up a variety of hobbies, including scrapbooking, card making, embroidery, baking, painting, and even making homemade vanilla. Yet, even as I write this, two dangerous words pop into my head: I wish.
Those two words can cause pain in our lives without us even realizing it. When you said I wish as a child, it was almost magical, based on dreams, and always with a hope that only a child has stored in their heart. For instance, I wished to be a gymnast like Mary Lou Retton, the 80’s version of Simone Biles. I would tumble around all the time, and walking was too boring, so I preferred to turn cartwheels everywhere. My wish was pure, and every time I rolled around or did a cartwheel, it made me happy!
As I write about my hobbies, two words come to mind: “I wish.” Instead of having hope, I have feelings of defeat and frustration. I wish I were more athletic and better at my hobbies. When I wrote that I do embroidery, I wished I did it often enough to sell them. When I wrote that I did painting, I wished I was better at it. When I wrote card-making, I wished I lived near my friend who taught me how to do it.
Now, there are two ways to think about my I wish statements. Some may read this and think that if I wanted to improve something, I should take the time and do it, which sounds reasonable. However, I would like to share what I do when those “I wish” statements come into my mind to upset my comfort and contentedness. I think of two new words, “So what?”
So what if I am not an accomplished painter or selling embroidery? Does wanting to sell embroidery make the activity less enjoyable for me? No! I enjoy sitting on the couch next to my husband in the evenings with my hoop and needles while watching a movie or TV series.
So what if I am less athletic than I want to be? Give me a volleyball, and you will see this in less than two minutes. Does wishing I was good at any sport stop me from enjoying walks or doing a dance video on Apple Fitness with horrible coordination? No!
Of course, with time and focus, I know that I can improve; however, I decide to be thankful for who I am and the gifts I have. Instead of thinking of what I wish I could do, I choose to be grateful for what I can do. I choose where I spend my time. I choose to give myself grace for the choices I make. I choose to find enjoyment in what I do.
That’s really what it boils down to…I may think I wish and try to combat those thoughts with so what, but what’s more important is what I choose.
A Wolfe Speaks 